wtf is a quiet mind? - a mindful musing

Jun 19

Happy sweet Wednesday to your curious heart 💚

What do you think having a ‘quiet mind’ is like?

You’ve probably heard some variation of this phrase if you’ve taken a yoga or meditation class, workshop, or training, or if you’ve seen some depiction of those on a screen anywhere.

I think we’re given the impression that it’s supposed to be a universal experience we can tap into and shut off all the hullabaloo in our noggins for however long we choose to be still. But that’s not the case.

Whether you think in sound or pictures or another magical way, all of our brains work differently, and there isn’t some ubiquitous off switch that you just need the right training to find.

Sure, there are helpful tools — a physical yoga practice is meant to prep your mind and body for meditation practice. All that physical exertion and focus is a warm up to help you work toward quieting your mind.

But we’re still not really talking about what that means.

I learned a lot about meditation in my yoga teacher trainings and continuing ed courses, but one thing I’ve found seriously lacking is education on how to discuss the concept of a quiet mind with people who have no idea what that might be like for them. Neurodiversity wasn’t touched on significantly in any training I’ve attended, at least not regarding how to make yoga and meditation practices more accessible to neurodiverse populations.

And I’m neurodiverse.

My brain never stops. Literally never. It just keeps chuggin’ no matter what.

I’m that now-classic internet trope of a grown woman in my early 40s, recently diagnosed with ADHD and astounded to find out that not everyone’s brain works like mine and that I never knew that for over forty years. Because wow.

And this affects my personal yoga and meditation practices significantly — it’s much different than a practice that I craft for others because it’s just me and my inner electric meatloaf bobbin’ around and exploring. And it’s much different than when I’m participating in a public class (because I’m really good at masking in the name of social norms).

When I’m the focus, my brain frolics WILD with an unparalleled ferocity.

I find it hard to stick with something that’s not holding my interest. If I can’t engage, I don’t want to do it. When I feel done with something, I’m just absolutely done. I find comfort in things that aren’t necessarily what I’d call physically nutritious movement. I avoid avoid avoid things on many days because they feel too hard. I find it hard to be still in postures for more than a couple breaths, and because of this, I routinely shorten my savasana and meditation times (if I give myself any at all), and for the time I do allot for these, my brain is usually running AH-MUCK.

And you know what? I let it — a lot. It goes and goes and sometimes I mentally poke at it to try to get it quieter, but I find that trying to force my mind to take on an experience that isn’t natural for it robs me of the benefits of my yoga and meditation practice. Trying to tame it becomes a toxic distraction.

My mind is amazing at going full speed+ in any direction that seems enticing, and I’m learning that when I let it and add in intentional check-ins with my breath and body, I get more out of my practice. My body engages more supportively. My brain processes things. My emotions feel seen.

My current experience of a quiet mind means that it’s not preoccupied with trying to battle against all stimuli. It’s not about trying to STOP something, but rather it’s about ADDING IN the purposeful check-ins. And sometimes that also means I’m moving around. My brain is doing what it finds easy with little resistance, and my body is supporting it with some mix of movement and stillness, which all might seem pretty busy, but to me — it’s a lovely form of peace.

I think if we spend too much of our energy trying to wrangle ourselves in to attempt to have an experience that we perceive as the ‘correct’ way is highly detrimental, not to mention discouraging. How many people say they can’t do yoga and meditation because it’s too slow or hard to sit there? Maybe they tried it once and had a shitty experience or maybe they don’t even want to try because of how it’s often portrayed.

I get it. And that’s also based on a lack of information, which I find to be a sad injustice.

Yoga and meditation don’t have to look a specific way, and we all have the autonomy no matter what setting we’re in to make adjustments so that our practice best supports our individual needs in that moment. Let’s take responsibility for that.

➡️ Side quest for unsolicited advice: if you ever find yourself in an environment that doesn’t feel conducive to tailoring your own practice to your specific needs, get the fuck out of there. Pronto.

The result of this missing conversation piece is that many people don’t try or give up on practicing. I have a lot of compassion for this — I’ve experienced the same thing myself at different points in my life, AND I know with every bone/cell/energetic atom in my being that some kind of movement and mindfulness practice is beneficial for everyone. Science backs that up.

I guess my point here is that we would benefit from a broad understanding of ourselves to envision how a practice can be molded to suit our needs. Know yourself. You’re the canvas. What are you working with?

After that, the tricky parts of meeting yourself where you’re at include: (1) allowing yourself to do that with full acceptance, and (2) exploring and experimenting with what makes sense for you (in that moment).

There are so many possibilities, and if you have no idea what might work, people like me can help. I love to give variation ideas when leading a live class and I use many of them myself. So if you join me for an event, let your ears perk up. If you just want to ask for some ideas, holler at me via email or social media. I’m extra down for that.

Your brain circuitry is 100% unique to you — it’s made up by your life experiences, physical structure, DNA, childhood development, potential ACEs, and much more that I’m not an expert in. My main point is that we’re not all cut from the same recipe (mixed that up on purpose). What works for me might not work for you and what worked for you in certain circumstances last week might not be a good fit today. It’s all relative.

Here are some key takeaways:

You are your own expert — no one is going to know what your own experience is like better than you.
There isn’t a right way to do any of this — especially life. Leave room for error and experimentation.
One action or instance is not a contract for consistency — It’s all practice, and it can always look different.

Please share if you got some good bits out of this, and let me know if you have best practices. I’d love to learn from you!

✨ May this week revolve around your joy ✨

In good energy 💚