honor where you’re at - a mindful musing

Aug 7

potential time investment (estimated reading time): 4 minutes

Happy Wednesday energy to you 💚

I hope this week started off with a sense of gentleness for you, and if it didn’t, I hope you’re giving yourself the grace and care you deserve.

If you read the Lunar Love Letter from this past new moon, you saw that I’m leaning into what’s right in front of me, and the first few days of this week, I’m consistently running face first into messages reminding me to allow myself to be where I’m at — no more, no less.

I was reading about emotional avoidance this morning in How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe, and (unsurprisingly) confirmed my heavy experience in this area. I’ve spent a lot of my life masking and people pleasing, resulting in a lot of unfelt emotions, and I still find myself contending with those urges.

I’ve grown a lot while learning healthy emotional regulation tactics and invest a tremendous amount of energy in practicing and teaching them. Part of this is also noticing when I’m overdoing it — overusing emotional regulation tactics in an attempt to ‘achieve’ a certain emotional state at any given time.

This is where these tactics do more harm than good — they’re being used as an attempt to bypass an uncomfortable or inconvenient emotion.

In moderation within certain circumstances? Sure. Totally makes sense.

All the time = no bueno.

This week, I have a lot of feelings, one of which is feeling low energy. And I have feelings about feeling like that (UGH for the layers!).

The feelings that I have about feeling low energy stem from comparing my today self with other days’ versions of me. And those aren’t who is here today, right? So what’s the point of the comparing? Why am I measuring? Don’t I believe and teach others that every day is different, every moment can be different, and we should honor however we are?

Hell fucking yes I do.

A beautiful and amazing friend of mine reminded me this morning what a wonderful practice it is to give ourselves advice. And I remembered that each of these letters I write, each thing I share, they’re not only for you. They’re also for me.

These are things I find challenging or need reminding of. Things I’m struggling with or celebrating. And if you’re here, then you are too.

Nice to know we’re not alone, right?

So today I’m showing up low energy, and noticing when I start that comparison on the imaginary yardstick, and then I’m telling myself to ‘drop the yardstick’ — literally, out loud.

It’s working nicely so far. I still feel low energy and that doesn’t need fixed. I’m still going to be authentic in all I do. It’s just going to be at a pace that honors my energy level. I also bet I’ll be a little more focused than I usually am when I feel like this because I will be less caught up in keeping that yardstick straight. I can realistically adjust my expectations of myself: I’m not going to get all the things done that I planned on doing. And that’s not a big deal.

What is a big deal? Not perpetuating my own emotional avoidance or stifling my own humanity.

Today I urge you to do the same. Whether you’re high energy, low energy, all over the place, or somewhere you don’t even know — just be there. Notice when your brain tries to tell you that you’re not supposed to be or that you’re a bad person for it or whatever brainy insults it lobs at you. And show up for yourself with tender words that remind you that where you are deserves to be honored just like every other state you’ve ever occupied.

✨ May this week give us practice in deepening our self-compassion ✨

With tender and empathetic energy,